I’m Begging You…

 

Yes, you should have sex with your partner every day. It really does make a difference in the functionality of your relationship.  Correction: it makes a HUGE difference in the functionality of MY relationship. This leads me to believe that it may help other couples that may be struggling with even being able to look at one another during the work week.

First of all, I have always had a healthy appetite for sex, but while I was in the midst of my sexual awakening I was in my early 20s and had almost nothing to do (school, bull shit part time job). So at that time, my appetite for sex felt huge.  I would want to have marathon sex as often as I could. I wanted to feel as many new sensations as possible.

Fast forward to my late 20s I still have the same desire for sex, but my follow through was lacking.  I have been in my relationship for a while now, my boyfriend and I live together and we are both moody people. When we first got together we wanted nothing more than to do the ol’ horizontal rumba, but as we started to move in together our sex life (among other things) took a horrid turn for the worst. Eventually it came to a complete halt.  We were fighting more, and just in a state of general melancholy.

It was after a few months of this that I said we need to make or this thing will be over.  So we made a change.  We started to make an intentional effort to “do the do.” Now it may seem very un-romantic or just plain strange to advise someone to “make time” for sex, but it is really easy to let “the moment” slip by when you are both exhausted from working, all day, followed by running errands, followed by whatever bull shit stress you are going through, followed by trying to make the house presentable, you see where I am going with this. A moment when you and your partner lock eyes and passionately rip each other’s clothes off seemed to be few and far between in my life. Maybe I am a square, but get real.  If I did not plan to do something that day, I am probably not going to do it.

It was a miracle, the fighting was gone (at least the petty fighting, arguments will always happen between two people, particularly if I am one of the two people), we were splitting chores and errands more equally. We started communicating more throughout the day, which helped to make me look forward to getting home and getting each other’s clothes off.  This lead us down the road of more sexual freedom (day trip to the local sex shop is always an exciting partner activity) and just an almost euphoric feeling of being in love with one another.

Here is my final argument as to why I know this system could work, because when we stopped making time for sex everything went right back to SHIT. The fights became spiteful again, and the mood in the home lulled and eventually exploded into full blow sitting on the couch in silence. It seemed inexplicable, because we have great conversation, and agree where it is important, and are not afraid to speak our minds with each other; but without sex we could not even manage to muster anything more than an ineffectual “How was your day?” before we slipped into 2 hours of silence on the sofa before we went to sleep. So we promised that we would not let our sex life fall by the wayside like that again and we are better than ever.